♥zazythalassaemicladies♥

It had been 6 month. Officially today...whats my feeling? Dunno.... definitely still a bit sad. But i think i felt much much better now. I can face it... ya... on and off.. i know, time will heals everything. But seriously it is not that easy. The biggest problem is, we work at same place.. i meet him almost everyday.. thats the hardest!!! I need courage for that!!! I smile, I laugh..  but deep inside my heart... broken... totally injured.. Agreed bila org kata org yang paling kerap ketawa adalah orang yang paling sedih... that' s me!!!!😂 I dunno until when i can stand. Im trying my best... yes... im a bit rebellious nowadays. I alway break the rules. 😅 I just dont want to stay longer at office. I try to minimize my time . I dream abt him a few time last week. Dunno what does it mean. I hope my bad instinct wont happen. The most important thing, i dont want to put any hope anymore. Putting too much hope will make me disappointed. So, better just leave i...

Yes... i miss u... but i try not to care of you... I try to ignore you... I try to forget about you... But... Its not easy The more i try.. The more i think about you.. But... I need to do it For my own sake I dont want to be hurt anymore I dont mind to be hurt now... Coz i dont want to continuosly being hurt in future Im confuse with your behaviour now... U seem trying to get close with me But sorry dude... its not going to be happen... U hurt me before And yes... i wont let it happen anymore If u r looking for the OLD Faza... That owz take care of u... U wont find her anymore That OLD Faza no longer exist GONE... And yes... u are the one that responsible for that... U make her disappeared... Faza that u see now is someone that cold hearted and heartless... Be honest... i miss that OLD Faza too...

After 5 months, I thought im strong enough now. But unfortunately im not 😢. I still crying, sad especially this pass 2 weeks. I dunno why. but i have very bad instinct. I really hope its not going happened. It keep repeating in my mind. After i start isthikarah last wk. I dont want to put any hope now. Coz i dont want to hurt myself just like before. My heart keep hurting. And i dunno why. Last week is the worst. I cry everyday after back from work. Seriously dunno why. A bit curious. So i start back tahajud. And i will feel much better. Yalah Faza, bila dah ok sikit mula lupa Allah. So let it be part of your routine now Faza. I dunno how long i can stand. Please give me strenght Ya Allah.. seriously, im still not strong enough. 😢

Yes...it had been 120 days a.k.a 4 months. getting stronger but still not strong enough. Sometimes i still crying. I dont know why it really difficult to forget him. almost everyday, i think about him. I trying my best to forget him.. yes...i struggle a lots..😢 But i know there is a reason behind this.. try to think positive. Redha dengan segalanya. Terima segala perancangan Allah. Allah know what the best for me. Always keep that in my mind. Everyday after solat, alway pray that i can forget him. Forget all the memories. Yaaa... maybe we work at same place, that why it a bit difficult. But i know, i can do it. Ya.. just trust Allah... that what im doing now. Yeaaa... im on vacation... long holiday... dont have to see his face.. glad for that!!! Harap semua berjalan lancar dan selamat pergi, selamat sampai... Ya Allah.. lindungilah dan jauhilah kami dari perkara buruk Ya Allah...Amin....

yes.. agreed... even though u just next to me, aku boleh buat bodoh and sik kenal jak. As Norapizah said, u good in doing that. But the problem is, i can do it when in front of people, but at the back, im crying..dying inside.. seriously!! its hurt, but i have to do it. For my own sake. For my future. I dont want to be hurt again. One is enough, Yesterday, i shared everything with Ain. Seem like we face almost same situation. I try not to mentioned his name. But she can guess who he is. Ya.. she crying too. Coz she understand what im going through. Similar situation i can say. Her ex also married someone else. You know what, i really dont understand guys. What they want.. What are they doing. Guys is suck!!! Yaaaa... not all.. i know that. But the one that i met was totally #^%^&^&&&&!!!! I hate him,, but i really miss him right now.. seriously really miss him badly!!!:'(... But i must do this.. keep ignore him. I know im still not strong enough, but i ...

Yes... it has been 93 days... And Faza still like this!!! Now i know my weakness Im a strong person before A strong kakak for her adik adik thalas But when it comes to love or being hurt, Faza jadi selemah2 insan...😢 Yup... im now a bit protective.. I can say... sombong...ya... for my own sake.. I just want to protect my heart From being hurt again Once is enough I dont care of orang anggap Faza sombong now Back to normal Just like what i do before Overprotected my heart For this while... i really take care of my heart Im not letting people hurt it.. not even touch it But once i let people touch it... they hurt it... until it broken into pieces... 😢 I need to recover it back... ' Bukan sombong... tapi menjaga.. Menjaga daripada terjatuh pada yang salah '.. Ya... i should hold to this now... sombong... sebab x nak terjatuh pd org salah... it happened before.. so i'll make sure its not going to be happen again... Lesson to be learn...

Yup...it had been 90 days. What can i say is that, im stronger but still not strong enough. I can hide it in front of everyone. But not in front of Allah.. i'll cry...again...and again.... its not easy..😢 But i know i can do it. Sebab Allah xkan turunkan ujian ini andai aku x mampu untuk mengharunginya. What i need to do is to stay strong. Still not talking to him. I cant be hipocrite. Pretend to be happy and talk like usual with him. NOPE!!! Definitely not going to be happen. I do what I think the best of me. To me, he is nobody now. Someone that i just know recently. Trying my best to forget all the memories that we had before. Ya... i cant trust myself when it involve heart n feeling. Hati manusia itu Allah boleh bolak balik kan. What im worried is that, the feeling come back again. Things that i trying to avoid to be happen. Biar sakit sekarang, jangan sakit buat kali kedua. Lesson to learn, choose wisely and dont simply trust people. Yes, admit that i have trust ...