Day 180 a.k.a 6 months

It had been 6 month. Officially today...whats my feeling? Dunno.... definitely still a bit sad. But i think i felt much much better now. I can face it... ya... on and off.. i know, time will heals everything. But seriously it is not that easy. The biggest problem is, we work at same place.. i meet him almost everyday.. thats the hardest!!! I need courage for that!!!
I smile, I laugh.. but deep inside my heart... broken... totally injured..
Agreed bila org kata org yang paling kerap ketawa adalah orang yang paling sedih... that' s me!!!!😂
I dunno until when i can stand. Im trying my best... yes... im a bit rebellious nowadays. I alway break the rules. 😅
I just dont want to stay longer at office. I try to minimize my time .
I dream abt him a few time last week. Dunno what does it mean. I hope my bad instinct wont happen. The most important thing, i dont want to put any hope anymore. Putting too much hope will make me disappointed. So, better just leave it like this.. gambateh Faza... u can do it. Just rely on Allah.. He know better...

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Day 4 @ Bangkok - 3rd day of 1st Pan Asian Conference on Haemoglobinopathies

Finally, last day @ Bangkok.. A lots of sweet memories... Jumpa Noah & Suchada, really miss both of them. Met Ayuputrasih, Iman, Demetrious, and of coz Prof Vip...=).. Rasa sedih & sayu plak nak tinggalkan bumi Bangkok.. It's not easy to meet all of them. Have to wait another conference, then we can meet again..Abu Dhabi?? hahahaha...mesti mahal nya pun cost of travelling.. Airfares, accommodation, registration..huhuhu..dpt nak kah pergi..Unless ada org yg sponsor..;p.. Like usually, by 7am dah prepare nak check out. All luggage mbak skali.. tapi sayang miss some of the talk.. What to do, our flight 3pm.. Have to move earlier. By 11.30am, we all dah cabut.. Smpt tea sekejap, ambik gambar dgn Uncle Muktaris & family, Demetrious (kekasih gelapku, menurut Zanel, x puas hati la ya bila Demetris knl aku..hahahah), of coz Noah & Ayu..Tp sayang, x sempat nak bergambar dengan Suchada..Busy btl minah tu, assistant Prof Vip la katakan.. yup, x lupa ambik gambar dgn...

Days 72

72 days.... and im still like this oh my!!!! Faza!!! until when???? stop it Faza.... you have to do something Forget him Forget all the memories he's nothing now none of my business I know its difficult its not easy but you have to do it no choice Faza There is a reason behind all of these You know it.... so try to accept it... Every morning i wake soooo early... SO... what else i do?? Tahajud.. but i think im a bit stronger now I dont cry a lot during tahajud not like before but i cry a lots after isya...and during mengaji... dunno why....:'( it takes time... but i know, i can do it lets time heal everything i cant wait all of this over im just tired with everything im tired of crying im tired of over thinking Ya Allah... give me strength please... :'(

Really miss this place... Baitullah & Madinah Al Munawarah

Lamak dah x update my blog. Last sekali rasanya early of 2014. Now, mid of year 2014. How time flies.... Nothing much happen. Life goes on like usual. My parents baru balit umrah last night. And it make me think about this wonderful place. Baitullah and Kota Madinah. Seriously, really miss this place. Really want to go there again. Mesti dah banyak berubah. It has been 8 year after my hajj. I'm wondering how this place look like now. I miss my friend yg sama pergi haji, Azim and kakak2 & makcik2, especially Kak Zu and Kak Cik. Kak Zu, i still contact her. Kak Cik jak xda contact lagi. Makcik yang dua org ya entah apa khabar nak kah??? Doa yang terbaik untuk cdaknya. Hopefully masih sihat walafiat. And yessss... i reallllllllyyyyy miss my sarawak group!!!! yang sempoi & gila2... Ya Allah...rindu yang teramattttttttttttttt sangattttttttttttttt..... Semoga Allah terus murahkan rezekiku & dapat jejakkan kaki sekali lagi ke Bumi suci Mu Ya Allah.. ...

♥zazythalassaemicladies♥

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