A better future ahead

2018 plz be good to me... yes, i went for interview last month. At Sarawak Energy. Just the day before i went to KL for NHAM. The only day im free. Just back from Penang on Monday, then tuesday working as usual. But need to go to sgh to settle thing. Not enough time to study n prepare for interview.
But, Alhamdulillah... everything goes well. Really hoping for good news from them. And yes, until now still hoping. Before went for interview, i ask everyone who close with me, pray the best for me. Pray i get that job. And yes guys, keep praying for me... i really want to leave that place. Im struggling there..😔
I just cant wait to leave that place. Forget everything, and start a new life. Too many bad memories there... yes.... im willing to leave everything that i love there. I just want my happiness back.. i love my job... i love my boss... i love my friend. But i love myself more... so that my decision... leave that place....
Ya Allah..sesungguhnya engkau maha pemurah... lagi maha pengasih..lagi maha penyayang...
Permudahkan segalanya untuk hambaMu ini... dan kurniakan rezeki yg lebih baik utk ku Ya Allah...Good news for me please Ya Allah... Aamiin....

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Day 200

Its had been 200 days. How time flies.. dunno why im so sad today. Going back frm office before 4.30pm. But reached home almost 6pm. Yaaa....crying again.. heading town. And drive without purpose. Faza datang gila lagik. Dunno why its really hard to forget him. Macam ada something yang menghalang. But dunno what. Really hope this will end soon. Cant stand anymore. Macam dah reached the limit. He keep bothering my mind. Dunno why after istikharah, muka nya yang keluar. Its not first time. A few time already. What does it mean??? I have no idea. And yes, keyakinan ya masih sama macam dolok . Never changed. Seriously , really dont what does it mean. It make me more confuse. Every morning i wake up for tahajud. Ya... mencari ketenangan dan jawapan untuk semua kekeliruan. I really confuse now. I really hope Allah give answer for all of these. Be honest, i cant see his face. Even his voice. My mood definitely will change. 360... i hate. And that the reason why i avoid him. I do it for a ...

Day 191

Nice number!!!! Lol Nothing much i can say.. i need to be strong. Keep that in my mind. I can do it. I can forget him. I can forget everything. Not easy i can say. Really need to struggle a lots. Really need courage. I spent my night with hajat, tahajud and isthikarah. Almost every night. That the only way i can get my calmness in my life. Its work.. but takes time. I dont mind to do it. As long as i get back my happiness. And the reason also why i always look tired. Everyone say the same thing. U look very tired Faza... ur eyes... u ur eyebag.. even Dr Chew noticed it. I try to sleep the earliest i can. So i can wake as early as 3am.. then no more sleep. Mau nya x keluar segala eyebag!!!😅 I hope everything will end.. i dont know how long i can stand. Tired... really tired. Ya Allah... ease everything for me.. i cant wait all of this over.... i know, good thing will happen to me. 'Disetiap kesukaran, pasti akan datang kesenangan'... Amin...

Days 72

72 days.... and im still like this oh my!!!! Faza!!! until when???? stop it Faza.... you have to do something Forget him Forget all the memories he's nothing now none of my business I know its difficult its not easy but you have to do it no choice Faza There is a reason behind all of these You know it.... so try to accept it... Every morning i wake soooo early... SO... what else i do?? Tahajud.. but i think im a bit stronger now I dont cry a lot during tahajud not like before but i cry a lots after isya...and during mengaji... dunno why....:'( it takes time... but i know, i can do it lets time heal everything i cant wait all of this over im just tired with everything im tired of crying im tired of over thinking Ya Allah... give me strength please... :'(

♥zazythalassaemicladies♥

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