♥zazythalassaemicladies♥

After 5 months, I thought im strong enough now. But unfortunately im not 😢. I still crying, sad especially this pass 2 weeks. I dunno why. but i have very bad instinct. I really hope its not going happened. It keep repeating in my mind. After i start isthikarah last wk. I dont want to put any hope now. Coz i dont want to hurt myself just like before. My heart keep hurting. And i dunno why. Last week is the worst. I cry everyday after back from work. Seriously dunno why. A bit curious. So i start back tahajud. And i will feel much better. Yalah Faza, bila dah ok sikit mula lupa Allah. So let it be part of your routine now Faza. I dunno how long i can stand. Please give me strenght Ya Allah.. seriously, im still not strong enough. 😢

Yes...it had been 120 days a.k.a 4 months. getting stronger but still not strong enough. Sometimes i still crying. I dont know why it really difficult to forget him. almost everyday, i think about him. I trying my best to forget him.. yes...i struggle a lots..😢 But i know there is a reason behind this.. try to think positive. Redha dengan segalanya. Terima segala perancangan Allah. Allah know what the best for me. Always keep that in my mind. Everyday after solat, alway pray that i can forget him. Forget all the memories. Yaaa... maybe we work at same place, that why it a bit difficult. But i know, i can do it. Ya.. just trust Allah... that what im doing now. Yeaaa... im on vacation... long holiday... dont have to see his face.. glad for that!!! Harap semua berjalan lancar dan selamat pergi, selamat sampai... Ya Allah.. lindungilah dan jauhilah kami dari perkara buruk Ya Allah...Amin....

yes.. agreed... even though u just next to me, aku boleh buat bodoh and sik kenal jak. As Norapizah said, u good in doing that. But the problem is, i can do it when in front of people, but at the back, im crying..dying inside.. seriously!! its hurt, but i have to do it. For my own sake. For my future. I dont want to be hurt again. One is enough, Yesterday, i shared everything with Ain. Seem like we face almost same situation. I try not to mentioned his name. But she can guess who he is. Ya.. she crying too. Coz she understand what im going through. Similar situation i can say. Her ex also married someone else. You know what, i really dont understand guys. What they want.. What are they doing. Guys is suck!!! Yaaaa... not all.. i know that. But the one that i met was totally #^%^&^&&&&!!!! I hate him,, but i really miss him right now.. seriously really miss him badly!!!:'(... But i must do this.. keep ignore him. I know im still not strong enough, but i ...

Yes... it has been 93 days... And Faza still like this!!! Now i know my weakness Im a strong person before A strong kakak for her adik adik thalas But when it comes to love or being hurt, Faza jadi selemah2 insan...😢 Yup... im now a bit protective.. I can say... sombong...ya... for my own sake.. I just want to protect my heart From being hurt again Once is enough I dont care of orang anggap Faza sombong now Back to normal Just like what i do before Overprotected my heart For this while... i really take care of my heart Im not letting people hurt it.. not even touch it But once i let people touch it... they hurt it... until it broken into pieces... 😢 I need to recover it back... ' Bukan sombong... tapi menjaga.. Menjaga daripada terjatuh pada yang salah '.. Ya... i should hold to this now... sombong... sebab x nak terjatuh pd org salah... it happened before.. so i'll make sure its not going to be happen again... Lesson to be learn...

Yup...it had been 90 days. What can i say is that, im stronger but still not strong enough. I can hide it in front of everyone. But not in front of Allah.. i'll cry...again...and again.... its not easy..😢 But i know i can do it. Sebab Allah xkan turunkan ujian ini andai aku x mampu untuk mengharunginya. What i need to do is to stay strong. Still not talking to him. I cant be hipocrite. Pretend to be happy and talk like usual with him. NOPE!!! Definitely not going to be happen. I do what I think the best of me. To me, he is nobody now. Someone that i just know recently. Trying my best to forget all the memories that we had before. Ya... i cant trust myself when it involve heart n feeling. Hati manusia itu Allah boleh bolak balik kan. What im worried is that, the feeling come back again. Things that i trying to avoid to be happen. Biar sakit sekarang, jangan sakit buat kali kedua. Lesson to learn, choose wisely and dont simply trust people. Yes, admit that i have trust ...

72 days.... and im still like this oh my!!!! Faza!!! until when???? stop it Faza.... you have to do something Forget him Forget all the memories he's nothing now none of my business  I know its difficult its not easy but you have to do it no choice Faza There is a reason behind all of these You know it.... so try to accept it... Every morning i wake soooo early... SO... what else i do?? Tahajud.. but i think im a bit stronger now I dont cry a lot during tahajud not like before but i cry a lots after isya...and during mengaji... dunno why....:'( it takes time... but i know, i can do it lets time heal everything i cant wait all of this over im just tired with everything im tired of crying im tired of over thinking Ya Allah... give me strength please... :'(

Dear Faza, days 71 It's more than enough its exceed your own target its time for you to really-really move on forget everything I know its not easy You struggle a lots  You cried a lots You stress with everything that happened but Faza.. you are strong girl you had been faced some many challenged in your life before you lost a lots of thalassaemia and cancer friends you almost lost your bestfriend a.k.a Zanel you been infected with H1N1 you have Steven Johnson Syndrome due to Exjade you injured yourself and got 8 stitched while working for health screening name it!!! you face it with BRAVE and SMILE!!! please don't be weak just because one person one person that hurt your feeling and you forgot a bunch of families and friends that loves your everyday Dear Faza, Please appreciate your life.... you known as Kak Yong that always give courage to her thal sister and brother you always motivate them to think positive in life you always give adv...