♥zazythalassaemicladies♥

72 days.... and im still like this oh my!!!! Faza!!! until when???? stop it Faza.... you have to do something Forget him Forget all the memories he's nothing now none of my business  I know its difficult its not easy but you have to do it no choice Faza There is a reason behind all of these You know it.... so try to accept it... Every morning i wake soooo early... SO... what else i do?? Tahajud.. but i think im a bit stronger now I dont cry a lot during tahajud not like before but i cry a lots after isya...and during mengaji... dunno why....:'( it takes time... but i know, i can do it lets time heal everything i cant wait all of this over im just tired with everything im tired of crying im tired of over thinking Ya Allah... give me strength please... :'(

Dear Faza, days 71 It's more than enough its exceed your own target its time for you to really-really move on forget everything I know its not easy You struggle a lots  You cried a lots You stress with everything that happened but Faza.. you are strong girl you had been faced some many challenged in your life before you lost a lots of thalassaemia and cancer friends you almost lost your bestfriend a.k.a Zanel you been infected with H1N1 you have Steven Johnson Syndrome due to Exjade you injured yourself and got 8 stitched while working for health screening name it!!! you face it with BRAVE and SMILE!!! please don't be weak just because one person one person that hurt your feeling and you forgot a bunch of families and friends that loves your everyday Dear Faza, Please appreciate your life.... you known as Kak Yong that always give courage to her thal sister and brother you always motivate them to think positive in life you always give adv...

Weekend gateaway at Lundu... spent my weekend with Khairul, sister and Kak Ju families. Yaaaa .... i need to go away and release everything in my minds. Jiwa masih kacau... I hate it!!!! Still thinking of him... damn!!! November....someone birthday... really want to wish him. But... i really cant remember his exactly date of birth...mmmm.... sign that Allah dah bantu aku lupakan dia kot!!! LoL... and then, semua mcm x dipermudahkan. Nak confirmation frm Mascara list, my list dkt laptop not up to date . nak tanyak Ain... mri case cancel.. too obvious, Allah x restui apa yang aku nak polah... so just forget it!!! Ok... forget about him for a while.. Guess who i met?? Yusuf Roy!!!! Hahaha... it has been almost 15 years i never meet him. Since we leaving St Joseph... lama sih!!! But good thing about him, he still friendly like before... not like that guys.. anak orang kaya tu!!! This month gonna be a busy month for me... almost every week i fly.. to kl... to miri... and then...run....

  Ai Choo post this at FB yesterday with hashtag #fazakuat.. it make me cry...again... yes.. again.. I know so many people love me. And i make them worried about me. I try to be strong. But still can't. Seriously, it not that easy.. Still struggling with myself. Try to think positive... think abt those who really loves me...cares about me... But still can't. Damn!!! why it so difficult?? Seem like i cant achieve my own target. Days 66, and im still sad..FAZA!!!! Please forget everything!! its not good for your health!!! Yaa.... im not feeling well since last week. Very weak.. Dunno why... Im trying to make myself busy... Run...hiking this week... Check in at sematan. Next week fly to KL.. following week to Miri... Then run... and run again... Am I trying to make myself sick??? please Faza.. dont force yourself do something over the limit.... I really hope everything will back to normal. But i know, it wont happen. How i wish everything will over  ASAP.... FAZA YOU C...

Day 59... My target 60 days is enough Faza.. Yup... be honest, it was very2 difficult. If i know its going to be this hard, I shouldnt attached too closed with him. Not attached actually. The best word is, say NO when he say Hi!!! at the first time.... But... things happened. People keep saying, everything happened for a reason. Guysss!!! Do you know that, it easy to say, not to do it??? Move on!!!! Let it go!!!! And bla...bla... no different. What i can say, its not that easy dude! I thought im strong enough to face. But now i realize, im not.. im still weak!!! I still cry.. it day 59, and i think almost everyday i cry... especially during my solat time. Yes... that the time i really expressed my feeling. Only Allah know how i felt. I feel better after sujud. And yes, tahajud become part of my routine now. Dr Meity came last wk... and luckily she knew it already. Yaaa.. i told her before she come here. I just dont want her to be suprise. The staff informed her and she pretend to be...

30th August 2016... it's the end of everything... i will remember that date forever. After almost 2 year close with him, that what he decide. What can i do? Nothing!!! I shouldn't put trust on him. I should protect my heart, like what i usually do! Never trust a man FAZA.. that is moral of the story.. just 19 days before he marry, he tell me everything. The best part, if not because of Krabi, i dont think i know about it. I hate Krabi now. Yup, after he told me that, he go Krabi for honeymoon.. OMG...seriously, i dont like Krabi. i even cant sleep after he confess. 32 hrs without sleeping, i think i hv lost my mind. So my 31st Aug holiday was very terrible day. I watched movie alone. Action movie, but i cried most of time. Watched in movie before, and now it happened to me. One word to describe..CRAZY!!! After movies, no where to go. Drive without any direction, as long as it moving. i decided to tell my ctc group. and yes, everyone cry for me... The only thing in my min...

Almost 3 yrs i know him.. is this the end of everything? 😢.. i tried my best to fix everything. But if only ME try...for sure it wont work. Yes... i admit that, aku sayangkan our relationship. But, dah give up dah... i hv try my best... Sorry Dr Meity, i cant stand anymore. I dont think i'll follow your advice. It too much... I only pray that Allah will gv me strenght to face all of this. Ya... semoga diberi petunjuk kepada semua jawapan yg aku perlukan. MNS... yes... je'taime....