♥zazythalassaemicladies♥

Yes...it had been 120 days a.k.a 4 months. getting stronger but still not strong enough. Sometimes i still crying. I dont know why it really difficult to forget him. almost everyday, i think about him. I trying my best to forget him.. yes...i struggle a lots..😢 But i know there is a reason behind this.. try to think positive. Redha dengan segalanya. Terima segala perancangan Allah. Allah know what the best for me. Always keep that in my mind. Everyday after solat, alway pray that i can forget him. Forget all the memories. Yaaa... maybe we work at same place, that why it a bit difficult. But i know, i can do it. Ya.. just trust Allah... that what im doing now. Yeaaa... im on vacation... long holiday... dont have to see his face.. glad for that!!! Harap semua berjalan lancar dan selamat pergi, selamat sampai... Ya Allah.. lindungilah dan jauhilah kami dari perkara buruk Ya Allah...Amin....

yes.. agreed... even though u just next to me, aku boleh buat bodoh and sik kenal jak. As Norapizah said, u good in doing that. But the problem is, i can do it when in front of people, but at the back, im crying..dying inside.. seriously!! its hurt, but i have to do it. For my own sake. For my future. I dont want to be hurt again. One is enough, Yesterday, i shared everything with Ain. Seem like we face almost same situation. I try not to mentioned his name. But she can guess who he is. Ya.. she crying too. Coz she understand what im going through. Similar situation i can say. Her ex also married someone else. You know what, i really dont understand guys. What they want.. What are they doing. Guys is suck!!! Yaaaa... not all.. i know that. But the one that i met was totally #^%^&^&&&&!!!! I hate him,, but i really miss him right now.. seriously really miss him badly!!!:'(... But i must do this.. keep ignore him. I know im still not strong enough, but i

Yes... it has been 93 days... And Faza still like this!!! Now i know my weakness Im a strong person before A strong kakak for her adik adik thalas But when it comes to love or being hurt, Faza jadi selemah2 insan...😢 Yup... im now a bit protective.. I can say... sombong...ya... for my own sake.. I just want to protect my heart From being hurt again Once is enough I dont care of orang anggap Faza sombong now Back to normal Just like what i do before Overprotected my heart For this while... i really take care of my heart Im not letting people hurt it.. not even touch it But once i let people touch it... they hurt it... until it broken into pieces... 😢 I need to recover it back... ' Bukan sombong... tapi menjaga.. Menjaga daripada terjatuh pada yang salah '.. Ya... i should hold to this now... sombong... sebab x nak terjatuh pd org salah... it happened before.. so i'll make sure its not going to be happen again... Lesson to be learn Faza.... that my prom

Yup...it had been 90 days. What can i say is that, im stronger but still not strong enough. I can hide it in front of everyone. But not in front of Allah.. i'll cry...again...and again.... its not easy..😢 But i know i can do it. Sebab Allah xkan turunkan ujian ini andai aku x mampu untuk mengharunginya. What i need to do is to stay strong. Still not talking to him. I cant be hipocrite. Pretend to be happy and talk like usual with him. NOPE!!! Definitely not going to be happen. I do what I think the best of me. To me, he is nobody now. Someone that i just know recently. Trying my best to forget all the memories that we had before. Ya... i cant trust myself when it involve heart n feeling. Hati manusia itu Allah boleh bolak balik kan. What im worried is that, the feeling come back again. Things that i trying to avoid to be happen. Biar sakit sekarang, jangan sakit buat kali kedua. Lesson to learn, choose wisely and dont simply trust people. Yes, admit that i have trust issue now.

72 days.... and im still like this oh my!!!! Faza!!! until when???? stop it Faza.... you have to do something Forget him Forget all the memories he's nothing now none of my business  I know its difficult its not easy but you have to do it no choice Faza There is a reason behind all of these You know it.... so try to accept it... Every morning i wake soooo early... SO... what else i do?? Tahajud.. but i think im a bit stronger now I dont cry a lot during tahajud not like before but i cry a lots after isya...and during mengaji... dunno why....:'( it takes time... but i know, i can do it lets time heal everything i cant wait all of this over im just tired with everything im tired of crying im tired of over thinking Ya Allah... give me strength please... :'(

Dear Faza, days 71 It's more than enough its exceed your own target its time for you to really-really move on forget everything I know its not easy You struggle a lots  You cried a lots You stress with everything that happened but Faza.. you are strong girl you had been faced some many challenged in your life before you lost a lots of thalassaemia and cancer friends you almost lost your bestfriend a.k.a Zanel you been infected with H1N1 you have Steven Johnson Syndrome due to Exjade you injured yourself and got 8 stitched while working for health screening name it!!! you face it with BRAVE and SMILE!!! please don't be weak just because one person one person that hurt your feeling and you forgot a bunch of families and friends that loves your everyday Dear Faza, Please appreciate your life.... you known as Kak Yong that always give courage to her thal sister and brother you always motivate them to think positive in life you always give advice to

Weekend gateaway at Lundu... spent my weekend with Khairul, sister and Kak Ju families. Yaaaa .... i need to go away and release everything in my minds. Jiwa masih kacau... I hate it!!!! Still thinking of him... damn!!! November....someone birthday... really want to wish him. But... i really cant remember his exactly date of birth...mmmm.... sign that Allah dah bantu aku lupakan dia kot!!! LoL... and then, semua mcm x dipermudahkan. Nak confirmation frm Mascara list, my list dkt laptop not up to date . nak tanyak Ain... mri case cancel.. too obvious, Allah x restui apa yang aku nak polah... so just forget it!!! Ok... forget about him for a while.. Guess who i met?? Yusuf Roy!!!! Hahaha... it has been almost 15 years i never meet him. Since we leaving St Joseph... lama sih!!! But good thing about him, he still friendly like before... not like that guys.. anak orang kaya tu!!! This month gonna be a busy month for me... almost every week i fly.. to kl... to miri... and then...run...an

  Ai Choo post this at FB yesterday with hashtag #fazakuat.. it make me cry...again... yes.. again.. I know so many people love me. And i make them worried about me. I try to be strong. But still can't. Seriously, it not that easy.. Still struggling with myself. Try to think positive... think abt those who really loves me...cares about me... But still can't. Damn!!! why it so difficult?? Seem like i cant achieve my own target. Days 66, and im still sad..FAZA!!!! Please forget everything!! its not good for your health!!! Yaa.... im not feeling well since last week. Very weak.. Dunno why... Im trying to make myself busy... Run...hiking this week... Check in at sematan. Next week fly to KL.. following week to Miri... Then run... and run again... Am I trying to make myself sick??? please Faza.. dont force yourself do something over the limit.... I really hope everything will back to normal. But i know, it wont happen. How i wish everything will over  ASAP.... FAZA YOU CA

Day 59... My target 60 days is enough Faza.. Yup... be honest, it was very2 difficult. If i know its going to be this hard, I shouldnt attached too closed with him. Not attached actually. The best word is, say NO when he say Hi!!! at the first time.... But... things happened. People keep saying, everything happened for a reason. Guysss!!! Do you know that, it easy to say, not to do it??? Move on!!!! Let it go!!!! And bla...bla... no different. What i can say, its not that easy dude! I thought im strong enough to face. But now i realize, im not.. im still weak!!! I still cry.. it day 59, and i think almost everyday i cry... especially during my solat time. Yes... that the time i really expressed my feeling. Only Allah know how i felt. I feel better after sujud. And yes, tahajud become part of my routine now. Dr Meity came last wk... and luckily she knew it already. Yaaa.. i told her before she come here. I just dont want her to be suprise. The staff informed her and she pretend to be

30th August 2016... it's the end of everything... i will remember that date forever. After almost 2 year close with him, that what he decide. What can i do? Nothing!!! I shouldn't put trust on him. I should protect my heart, like what i usually do! Never trust a man FAZA.. that is moral of the story.. just 19 days before he marry, he tell me everything. The best part, if not because of Krabi, i dont think i know about it. I hate Krabi now. Yup, after he told me that, he go Krabi for honeymoon.. OMG...seriously, i dont like Krabi. i even cant sleep after he confess. 32 hrs without sleeping, i think i hv lost my mind. So my 31st Aug holiday was very terrible day. I watched movie alone. Action movie, but i cried most of time. Watched in movie before, and now it happened to me. One word to describe..CRAZY!!! After movies, no where to go. Drive without any direction, as long as it moving. i decided to tell my ctc group. and yes, everyone cry for me... The only thing in my min

Almost 3 yrs i know him.. is this the end of everything? 😢.. i tried my best to fix everything. But if only ME try...for sure it wont work. Yes... i admit that, aku sayangkan our relationship. But, dah give up dah... i hv try my best... Sorry Dr Meity, i cant stand anymore. I dont think i'll follow your advice. It too much... I only pray that Allah will gv me strenght to face all of this. Ya... semoga diberi petunjuk kepada semua jawapan yg aku perlukan. MNS... yes... je'taime....

Almost a year didn't blogging.. so many things happened. Satu demi satu pergi..sedeyy.. Start wit Affiah, passed away while holiday at France.. Very sudden... Then Ain, same week...2 thalas meninggal dalam minggu yang sama.. And then, during weekend, i lost my Abang Ajis...31 Jan... will remember that forever...:'( Sik ada lagik dah orang nak rajin ngaco, ngatik kamek orang. Gonna miss his joke.. His laugh..There's no more weekend night with Abang Ajis.... :'(...Can't write much.. Air mata dah nunggu jak nak keluar tok...  Al Fatihah Wa... semoga ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh... Gonna miss u...