♥zazythalassaemicladies♥

  Ai Choo post this at FB yesterday with hashtag #fazakuat.. it make me cry...again... yes.. again.. I know so many people love me. And i make them worried about me. I try to be strong. But still can't. Seriously, it not that easy.. Still struggling with myself. Try to think positive... think abt those who really loves me...cares about me... But still can't. Damn!!! why it so difficult?? Seem like i cant achieve my own target. Days 66, and im still sad..FAZA!!!! Please forget everything!! its not good for your health!!! Yaa.... im not feeling well since last week. Very weak.. Dunno why... Im trying to make myself busy... Run...hiking this week... Check in at sematan. Next week fly to KL.. following week to Miri... Then run... and run again... Am I trying to make myself sick??? please Faza.. dont force yourself do something over the limit.... I really hope everything will back to normal. But i know, it wont happen. How i wish everything will over  ASAP.... FAZA YOU C...

Day 59... My target 60 days is enough Faza.. Yup... be honest, it was very2 difficult. If i know its going to be this hard, I shouldnt attached too closed with him. Not attached actually. The best word is, say NO when he say Hi!!! at the first time.... But... things happened. People keep saying, everything happened for a reason. Guysss!!! Do you know that, it easy to say, not to do it??? Move on!!!! Let it go!!!! And bla...bla... no different. What i can say, its not that easy dude! I thought im strong enough to face. But now i realize, im not.. im still weak!!! I still cry.. it day 59, and i think almost everyday i cry... especially during my solat time. Yes... that the time i really expressed my feeling. Only Allah know how i felt. I feel better after sujud. And yes, tahajud become part of my routine now. Dr Meity came last wk... and luckily she knew it already. Yaaa.. i told her before she come here. I just dont want her to be suprise. The staff informed her and she pretend to be...

30th August 2016... it's the end of everything... i will remember that date forever. After almost 2 year close with him, that what he decide. What can i do? Nothing!!! I shouldn't put trust on him. I should protect my heart, like what i usually do! Never trust a man FAZA.. that is moral of the story.. just 19 days before he marry, he tell me everything. The best part, if not because of Krabi, i dont think i know about it. I hate Krabi now. Yup, after he told me that, he go Krabi for honeymoon.. OMG...seriously, i dont like Krabi. i even cant sleep after he confess. 32 hrs without sleeping, i think i hv lost my mind. So my 31st Aug holiday was very terrible day. I watched movie alone. Action movie, but i cried most of time. Watched in movie before, and now it happened to me. One word to describe..CRAZY!!! After movies, no where to go. Drive without any direction, as long as it moving. i decided to tell my ctc group. and yes, everyone cry for me... The only thing in my min...

Almost 3 yrs i know him.. is this the end of everything? 😢.. i tried my best to fix everything. But if only ME try...for sure it wont work. Yes... i admit that, aku sayangkan our relationship. But, dah give up dah... i hv try my best... Sorry Dr Meity, i cant stand anymore. I dont think i'll follow your advice. It too much... I only pray that Allah will gv me strenght to face all of this. Ya... semoga diberi petunjuk kepada semua jawapan yg aku perlukan. MNS... yes... je'taime....

Almost a year didn't blogging.. so many things happened. Satu demi satu pergi..sedeyy.. Start wit Affiah, passed away while holiday at France.. Very sudden... Then Ain, same week...2 thalas meninggal dalam minggu yang sama.. And then, during weekend, i lost my Abang Ajis...31 Jan... will remember that forever...:'( Sik ada lagik dah orang nak rajin ngaco, ngatik kamek orang. Gonna miss his joke.. His laugh..There's no more weekend night with Abang Ajis.... :'(...Can't write much.. Air mata dah nunggu jak nak keluar tok...  Al Fatihah Wa... semoga ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh... Gonna miss u...

Lamak dah x update my blog. Last sekali rasanya early of 2014. Now, mid of year 2014. How time flies.... Nothing much happen. Life goes on like usual. My parents baru balit umrah last night. And it make me think about this wonderful place. Baitullah and Kota Madinah. Seriously, really miss this place. Really want to go there again. Mesti dah banyak berubah. It has been 8 year after my hajj. I'm wondering how this place look like now.  I miss my friend yg sama pergi haji, Azim and kakak2 & makcik2, especially Kak Zu and Kak Cik. Kak Zu, i still contact her. Kak Cik jak xda contact lagi. Makcik yang dua org ya entah apa khabar nak kah??? Doa yang terbaik untuk cdaknya. Hopefully masih sihat walafiat. And yessss... i reallllllllyyyyy miss my sarawak group!!!! yang sempoi & gila2... Ya Allah...rindu yang teramattttttttttttttt sangattttttttttttttt..... Semoga Allah terus murahkan rezekiku & dapat jejakkan kaki sekali lagi ke Bumi suci Mu Ya Allah..  ...

it's Feb 2014....How time flies..kjp jak dah masuk bulan febuari. A few thing happened early this year. Include my car knk hit twice.. within a month. Mula2 end of Dec and then middle of January 2014. Malang sungguh starting for year 2014. At the end my mum plh ketupat lepas and my baby white kenak ketis..hahaha see???? knk ketis tepung tawar...hahaha Plan for 2014?? ada a few.. Adelaide, Ho Chi Min and Bali+Bandung+Jakarta... But just a plan.. But i really want to go to Australia... Need to think carefully. a lot of think i need to consider.. From flight, accommodation, food, etc... In Sya Allah, murah rezeki, kita pergi!!! Thalassaemia... another lost this year. Pippy.. Shocked!!! 31st Jan 2014 nya passed away. A few day before, nya ada post kt FB. Tgh tunggu blood. Same day with my transfusion day. A week before, 3 of us, Khalid, Pippy and me chat at FB. they planned to come here, Kuching. I promised mbak nya 2 jalan-jalan..  Tapi Tuhan lebih sayang kan ...