Happy Birthday Faza ;'(

its had been 242 days...my birthday mean nothing this year..=(..for 2 years, he always with me on my birthday. but not this year.. sedey weiii. And that the reason why im missing this year on my birthday. im worried if i cant stand and cant control my emotion.

but still, im crying on my birthday. early morning gt text from sister, and already make me cry. i know they knew about it. i know, they noticed im still sad. and i know they try to cheer me up. thanks guys... love u all so much!!!

i dunno why it so difficult to forget him. i dont like the dreams. 5 times i have almost similar dream.. and all of it, related to him. not sure either it just a dream or a hint for me. really confusing. still crying..but better than before... my instinct still the same.. i really hope i throw away the instinct. its very strong... but really hope its not going to be happen. seriously, im in dilemma.. i want to forget him, and let him go. but dream is the one that still bothering my mind.

Ya Allah... i really need your help.. i really need your guidance. i dont what should i do. really confuse with my own life. i cant make decision. I'm too tired to face all of this...its hurt.. really hurt.. Please help me Ya Allah...=(

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Me @ SiNgApOrE..

Day 1 @ Singapore Sampe2 jak trs ngaro Bugis Street..My fav place @ Singapore for shopping.. Day 2 @ Singapore Hari yg ditunggu2...Sentosa i'm coming... 1st, singgah kt Beach Station..yup SILOSO Beach...bring me back old memories with my thala frens, 5 years ago..such a wonderful memory.. Then....Universal Studio Singapore a.k.a USS..Finally, i'm here..=)..Berbaloi rasanya spend RM 150 for the ticket. Pose wajib dpn globe..hehehe My fav chocolate..Hershey's Shrek Home Sweet Home Far Far Away Castle luv tis..^-^ Police Academy Entah sapa2 pun fame of star tok..hehehe I'm @ Hollywood..;p wit Shrek & Princess Fiona...nang kacak Fiona .. Shrek Pond Finally, i went to tis place..Entah brp kali dah pg Singapore, x juak sampe2 kt ctok Really luv tis structure... "One Fullerton' Sempat gik ambik gmbr tok time kt escalator..hehehe Our early dinner @ Changi ..cost $ 11.. End of my journey f...

Day 4 @ Bangkok - 3rd day of 1st Pan Asian Conference on Haemoglobinopathies

Finally, last day @ Bangkok.. A lots of sweet memories... Jumpa Noah & Suchada, really miss both of them. Met Ayuputrasih, Iman, Demetrious, and of coz Prof Vip...=).. Rasa sedih & sayu plak nak tinggalkan bumi Bangkok.. It's not easy to meet all of them. Have to wait another conference, then we can meet again..Abu Dhabi?? hahahaha...mesti mahal nya pun cost of travelling.. Airfares, accommodation, registration..huhuhu..dpt nak kah pergi..Unless ada org yg sponsor..;p.. Like usually, by 7am dah prepare nak check out. All luggage mbak skali.. tapi sayang miss some of the talk.. What to do, our flight 3pm.. Have to move earlier. By 11.30am, we all dah cabut.. Smpt tea sekejap, ambik gambar dgn Uncle Muktaris & family, Demetrious (kekasih gelapku, menurut Zanel, x puas hati la ya bila Demetris knl aku..hahahah), of coz Noah & Ayu..Tp sayang, x sempat nak bergambar dengan Suchada..Busy btl minah tu, assistant Prof Vip la katakan.. yup, x lupa ambik gambar dgn...

Days 120

Yes...it had been 120 days a.k.a 4 months. getting stronger but still not strong enough. Sometimes i still crying. I dont know why it really difficult to forget him. almost everyday, i think about him. I trying my best to forget him.. yes...i struggle a lots..😢 But i know there is a reason behind this.. try to think positive. Redha dengan segalanya. Terima segala perancangan Allah. Allah know what the best for me. Always keep that in my mind. Everyday after solat, alway pray that i can forget him. Forget all the memories. Yaaa... maybe we work at same place, that why it a bit difficult. But i know, i can do it. Ya.. just trust Allah... that what im doing now. Yeaaa... im on vacation... long holiday... dont have to see his face.. glad for that!!! Harap semua berjalan lancar dan selamat pergi, selamat sampai... Ya Allah.. lindungilah dan jauhilah kami dari perkara buruk Ya Allah...Amin....

♥zazythalassaemicladies♥

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