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Happy Birthday Faza ;'(

its had been 242 days...my birthday mean nothing this year..=(..for 2 years, he always with me on my birthday. but not this year.. sedey weiii. And that the reason why im missing this year on my birthday. im worried if i cant stand and cant control my emotion. 

but still, im crying on my birthday. early morning gt text from sister, and already make me cry. i know they knew about it. i know, they noticed im still sad. and i know they try to cheer me up. thanks guys... love u all so much!!! 

i dunno why it so difficult to forget him. i dont like the dreams. 5 times i have almost similar dream.. and all of it, related to him. not sure either it just a dream or a hint for me. really confusing. still crying..but better than before... my instinct still the same.. i really hope i throw away the instinct. its very strong... but really hope its not going to be happen. seriously, im in dilemma.. i want to forget him, and let him go. but dream is the one that still bothering my mind. 

Ya Allah... i really need your help.. i really need your guidance. i dont what should i do. really confuse with my own life. i cant make decision. I'm too tired to face all of this...its hurt.. really hurt.. Please help me Ya Allah...=( 

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